


please don’t

by neptun3



Series: Sapnap and George need a hug [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Sapnap-centric (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:47:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28918578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neptun3/pseuds/neptun3
Summary: Smp!Sapnap oneshot set on DoomsdayBasically just Sapnap being really sad and self-deprecating
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Sapnap and George need a hug [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122323
Comments: 5
Kudos: 121





	please don’t

**Author's Note:**

> There’s nothing too graphic but there is violence and injury description. Dream is a fucking bitch in this - also posted on wattpad

Friends were forever. Well until they weren't. Sapnap bitterly thought about how incorrect that statement was. If his friends were supposed to be there forever, then explain why one is distant and the other refuses to even acknowledge him anymore. It was all a load of bullshit.

Dream had been a part of his life for so long now that he struggled to remember what things were like before the mysterious blond befriended him. He'd always let Dream take the wheel and make decisions while he followed without question. That would all be different now that apparently their entire friendship was a lie.

Friendship with Dream was like being on a boat. An odd comparison to make yes but Sapnap felt like it explained the current state of their relationship. The man was the most powerful on the server for a long time and even with Technoblade's arrival Dream's power never diminished. Being his friend led Sapnap to follow him comfortably and blindly out to sea. Only for him to then decide he no longer needed the raven haired boy. Now Sapnap was overboard and struggling to stay afloat.

Sometimes he still turned to his side starting to make a funny remark only to remember that the blond man wasn't there. Most days he wandered around the area near L'Manberg aimlessly while reminiscing on their golden days. Well the citizens of L'Manberg definitely wouldn't refer to the time just before the war as the golden days but for Sapnap it was. Gunpowder and the smell of smoke haunted him in such a cruel way, reminding him that those days and that friendship was well and truly dead.

Although he knew that him and Dream's friendship had been on the rocks, Sapnap had been trying to desperately salvage it because he didn't want to be left alone again. Before the blond boy, Sapnap had nobody and here he was back at square one again. Despite his knowledge that their friendship was crumbling beneath his feet and that there was nothing he could do about it, the words Dream spoke that day stung more than expected.

"I don't care about anything - just your discs,"

Those words taunted Sapnap daily, constantly repeating themselves. The smug little voice in his head relished in the mental anguish it brought Sapnap. After all, it wasn't as if Dream's words caused the wound. No, instead they added salt to it so now they stung a little more each time. He knew that he was the reason for the downfall of their friendship - why wouldn't he be. Sapnap was reckless and had a tendency to chase trouble for the thrill of it. Of course Dream got fed up of dealing with him and decided that it was finally time to cast him aside. Everyone did.

Despite how many times it had happened, the pain never lessened. This was a different, more gut-wrenching type of pain through. Dream was his best friend since childhood - he was supposed to be a constant figure in his life. They were different but Sapnap liked to think he brought the best out of his friend, Dream helped him come out of his shell and the older boy used to show his soft side around Sapnap. It was perfectly symbiotic: the two living in harmony and mutual benefit.

Yet he cast him aside just like everyone else did, it just took longer than usual. Sapnap followed Dream blindly into everything without hesitation so it felt unsettling to have to make his own decisions again. Whenever the older boy needed someone he was there instantly. Even if he was scared or didn't particularly want to. Sapnap was barely an adult when his best friend dragged him into battle. The thrill that coursed through his veins like electricity when he had the power made up for it, burning down entire forests and watching the flames dance was something he lived for.

All the horrible things he did though - it wasn't because that's what Sapnap truly wanted. It was a desperate attempt to impress Dream, to try salvage their friendship. Dream had changed though and no matter what Sapnap did, nothing was ever good enough. Just like how Sapnap was never good enough.

He remembered talking to Tommy after Dream really went off the deep end during the discussion with L'Manberg. Sapnap could excuse a lot of things his best friend - well that wasn't the case anymore had done but once he noticed the pained expression on George's face after Dream announcing he didn't give a fuck about anything or anyone, he knew that he could no longer forgive him or pretend that everything was fine.

Sapnap and George had never been particularly close despite their close, mutual best friend. Maybe because of the age gap and George generally finding him annoying. Their differences didn't matter then though because they'd both been screwed over and abandoned. He was all Sapnap had left, the only person who could attempt to fill the gap in his life. That night the two of them had sobbed in each other's arms for hours, not saying anything, just basking in the comfort of another person who understood.

For a little while Sapnap had hope. Hope that perhaps George was meant to be his best friend and that they'd finally get over their petty little fights. Oh but he was so stupid to ever believe that. Looking back on it now, no matter how much he didn't want to admit it, Dream had been the orchestrator of most of their fights. Almost as if he knew exactly what he was doing and relished in putting his two supposed best friends against each other just for his own sick amusement.

George had been patient at first and Sapnap really thought they could make it work. It was just them for a few weeks and then Mexican L'Manberg or El Rapids happened. Sapnap wouldve been fine with just staying with George but the older man insisted that a group and new country was the best thing for the both of them. That was a lie.

As soon as Sapnap joined, George started neglecting him. Did anybody truly love him? The British man lied when he said it was the best move for the two, it was great for George and only George. His old running mate, the slightly psychotic, power hungry, drug dealer freaked Sapnap out. He was dangerous, in the exact same way as Dream.

Both of them had a way with words, they could force him to do something he normally wouldn't do. Sapnap was so desperate for the love of a family that he tried to gain Quackity's trust and acceptance. It didn't work though. 'See what I mean,' the smug little voice in his head whispered every time he was inevitably shunned by people supposed to be his friends 'nobody can stand you so they all leave.'

His time in Mexican L'Manberg had been interesting to say the least. Every day ended in some kind of chaos and the part of Sapnap that just wanted to see the world burn absolutely loved it. Once again he was the youngest member of the group and it bothered Sapnap more this time around. George would always use this condescending tone, mocking Sapnap whenever he got the chance.

It's just friends joking, Sapnap reminded himself every night when he silently sobbed. He doesn't actually hate you or think you're stupid. Still he always felt like an outsider there, even if he'd taken the bite of truth and done the drugs with everyone else. His mind adored overthinking every little interaction with the members. The way they'd stop talking whenever he entered the room, how George rolled his eyes when Sapnap was suggesting ideas, them only really reaching out to maintain the facade of friendship.

Deep down Sapnap knew the same vicious cycle was repeating. Every time he opened up in the hopes of someone finally sticking around, they left. It never mattered how much they promised him, swore they wouldn't be like the rest. Nothing ever changed.

George abandoned him shortly after, hardly ever visiting and checking up on the younger boy. Before he'd at lead had one person, even if he felt like his existence pissed them off to no end but now he was truly alone. He might have been stranded at sea before but the possibility of George's friendship had been like a life bouy, supporting him, keeping him afloat. But now it was being reeled in slowly, taunting him as he slipped deeper and deeper under water.

As he walked in the loneliness of not having either of his so called best friends Sapnap couldn't stop his mind drifting to the mysterious blond man. Yesterday Dream had delighted in telling everyone that Tommy had really done it this time. It seemed that nobody but Sapnap heard the smug undertones to his voice. Everyone exploded on the young boy exactly like puppet master wanted them too. Sapnap didn't believe Tommy could blow up the community house though. He'd had his quarrels with the child before and even if they weren't exactly friends, this was one of the only things he didn't think Tommy was capable of.

It was obviously Dream but everyone else didn't even consider that. Sapnap had nobody to believe him but there was no doubt in his mind. The raven haired boy recognised that time anywhere, for it was the same one he used everytime he wanted to convince Sapnap of something. In a way he and Tommy were actually very alike - both abandoned and left to for by people they loved. Perhaps Sapnap should've been a tad nicer when he visited him in exile.

There was still a chance to make things right though. If asked he would help L'Manberg fight just because he wanted to feel needed and appreciated, even if it was only for a few hours. He highly doubted they would even consider him though, who would come to Sapnap - he'd chased more death and destruction than anyone with the exception of Dream and Techno. Not to mention him killing so many pets that pretty much everyone despised him. Why would anyone want to take someone who'd caused them so much pain in and treat them like a friend.

He wished that they'd given him a chance to explain why he basically went on a killing spree. Of course it wouldn't excuse his actions but maybe they'd understand. Dream had been ignoring him, pushing him aside to obsessively plot ways to get Tommy's discs back. Every time Sapnap tried to get his attention and tell Dream how he felt though, Dream dismissed him without a word. He was so fucking angry at the world and his best friend that he resorted to drastic measures to try get his friend's attention. All he got was a note saying to deal with it.

Sapnap knew that he was the embodiment of wildfire: unpredictable, angry but also warm. Dream had used him, had stoked his fire until it ate him alive. The older man knew how to take advantage of Sapnap to get what he wanted. After all Sapnap was a great weapon for him to play with. Reckless, wild and strong - probably only weaker than himself and Techno. Despite his strength in the battle field though, he was emotionally weak. Dream knew that Sapnap would do anything he asked for a little bit of love and attention and oh boy did he abuse it.

Sapnap was sick of being Dream's weapon when necessary and then being tossed aside until the next war occurred. So when he heard the news about the latest battle for L'Manberg Sapnap decided it was time for him to finally step in and do something good for once. For the first time ever he wouldn't be siding with Dream. It was a foreign experience, one that he wasn't sure he'd ever be comfortable with. Yet despite how much he didn't want to be Dream's bitch anymore it didn't feel right fighting against him instead of beside him. He's so tired of being a weapon, the perfect soldier, something that others use to their benefit. And by others he meant Dream. It was always Dream.

He rolled out of his blanket where he'd been curled up for the last few hours, hoping that nobody would come looking for him. When he got up, the boy winced as he looked and saw the white bandana still in his messy locks, nearly the same color as his incredibly pale skin. Paired with the deep eyebags under his bloodshot eyes, he looked incredibly unhealthy.  
Wasn't he just a sight for sore eyes. He looked like shit and he felt like shit even more. He wasn't sure if he could continue this.

Doomsday was upon them and the raven-haired boy was still unsure as to whose side he'd take.It didn't matter. Or did it? It was his fault, wasn't it? He should have done more for their friendship. That's probably why Dream didn't care about him. Because he didn't do enough to deserve it, right? Sapnap was about to get up and go running to find Dream and beg the blonde to let him cause havoc alongside him but just as he reached the door he stopped for a brief moment. What was he thinking?! Dream was the one responsible for their broken friendship. Sapnap did so much for his alleged best friend and he did nothing for him in return. He just used him and manipulated him for Sapnap's unwavering loyalty and brute strength.

Oh but he was so conflicted: being on L'Manberg and Tommy's side was what he needed to do but no matter how hard he tried to remind himself that Dream didn't care about him, it didn't change the fact that it was so difficult for him to accept the reality of the situation. Dream never loved him. It stung deep, sea salt caused a searing pain to rush through his body as he sank further and further under water.

Sharp netherite that he remembered finding with Dream glistened against Sapnap's side. His enchanted sword sat securely on his waist. The raven-haired boy rummaged through his inventory one last time checking that he had an ender chest and everything else he could possibly need for war.

The soft rippling of the water surrounding the ruined community house was the only thing Sapnap could focus on. It calmed him, was a place of comfort but his mind was quite the opposite. Those words which tormented him were still on loop, getting louder now that he was somewhere so sentimental. He and Dream shared lots of memories here...well Sapnap wasn't sure if he wanted to remember them any more.

"I only care about the discs!" Dream's yell had been like an arrow of harming piercing his already fragile heart. He had stood there on the sidelines, staring at Dream with his eyes wide open, thoughts running wild and the voices in his head delighting in his pain. His eyes became glassy but he restrained himself because there was no way he could've cried. Dream had always told him that not showing their emotions was pivotal because otherwise it'd be seen as a sign of weakness, something for others to exploit.

So Sapnap stayed strong. He made it through the entire argument standing on Dreams side and being there for support. Not that Dream really needed it. After that he slumped down on the cliff side over looking new L'Manberg. He remembered how tight his throat had felt because of his overwhelmingly strong urge to cry. Tommy found him, a little quieter than usual. Probably because Sapnap was still seen as Dream's best friend to them and he wanted Tommy gone.

"Dream cares about me, right?"

"...He cares about George if it makes you feel better."

"But... does he care about me too?"

Tommy's long awkward pause had told him everything that he needed to know.

"You can just tell me, you know..."

The pity and on Tommy's face is evident. He's a lot of things but a good liar is not one of them "he doesn't care about you."

"Oh."

Sapnap had felt numb. His urge to cry had disappeared and a big void had filled its place.  
It hurt more than Sapnap ever expected, to hear it laid out so clearly. For someone outside their group to realise it and confirm what he'd suspected for so long.

He was so far down now. Deep in the inky, murky depths of the sea where no light could offer him so comfort but it was surprisingly peaceful down there — the dark water, rippling shadows against the sandy floor. There was a crushing pressure though and anxiety rose in his chest. He was beginning to run out of breath and slowly his limbs began to lose strength until he couldn't fight anymore. Sapnap was too far gone and there was no way that he could make it back to the surface by himself.

He was basically numb to the pain now as he stood in the remains of the community house. Tommy had asked him to meet there and sure enough in the distance he could spot the incredibly somber looking boy. It wasn't a sight he was used to seeing. Tommy was usually the loudest in the room and full of energy. But that wasn't the case anymore, matching purple bags under his eyes and his drained expression proved that. A pit opened in Sapnap's stomach and his heart dropped. What exactly did Dream do to that kid during exile that left him so drastically changed?

"I was thinking about how this all started the other day..." Tommy started, not moving his gaze from the ruins to look at Sapnap "it all started with us you know, I helped you and then everything turned to shit."

Tommy probably didn't mean to blame him and make him out as the architect of all the chaos that unfolded on the server after that fight but it was enough for Sapnap to spiral back into self-loathing. After all you can't deny the truth. If he hadn't started a fight and ruined the piece by escalating things and involving Tommy then maybe things would have turned out very differently. Him and Dream might still be best friends if he hadn't ruined everything. They'd all have been so much better off without me he thought to himself bitterly. All he did was cause pain and leave behind destruction.

Like the Midas touch but more tragic, he didn't need to touch things to turn them into gold and ruin them, his mere presence did that job good enough.

"I remember," Sapnap replied softly trying his best to hold back the sobs he could feel trying to escape.

"We've had our fair share of wars against each other and I know we're not friends like we used to but I really need you to fight with us man." Tommy's tone was more serious than he'd ever heard it and Sapnap didn't miss the pleading hint to it.

When he didn't reply instantly, Tommy continued wish his speech, more sincere than ever before "sorry about making you set Mars free...I know how much it hurts to loose a pet but I was just so angry at you and I was rash and impulsive."

Sapnap chuckled lowly "you're not the only one who hates me."

If Tommy picked up on the deeper, self-deprecating meaning to his words then he chose not to delve into their meaning.

"Fight with us then." He said firmly "I'm sure they'll all forgive you if you help us take Dream down."

"I can try Tommy but Dream's always been better than me....he knows me freakishly well, all my weaknesses and how to exploit them,"

Tommy rolled his eyes "you don't have to go near him then if you don't want to but we need you Sapnap. You're our only chance of beating them."

Need. There was the word he'd been waiting for someone to say. Previously Dream would command him or say that he wanted him to do something. But this was different. Sapnap had craved validation and approval from others for so long and now here was Tommy saying he needed him.

He pulled out a slightly scratched water bucket which looked like it contained something else but Sapnap couldn't quite make it out. Probably just Tommy's new pet fish or something. Until the fish was released into the water in front of him. It only took a second and then he saw it. Hovering above the fish's head was the name mars and Sapnap was really struggling to hold back the tears at this point. This was a scene straight out of a few months ago if you ignored the wreckage. Mars swimming happily in the water of the community house, Sapnap overwhelmed with happiness.

"How?" He whispered.

Tommy laughed quietly "turns out when you name them...they don't despawn and I was nearby the other day and found him. Thought it was only fair that you get him back."

"When do you need me for the fight?" Sapnap asked, a new and fierce determination running through him.

"Right now..." Tommy answered quickly as if he was scared that Sapnap would change his mind and back out of the promise.

After putting Mars back safely in his ender chest, he followed Tommy down the prime path towards L'Manberg. Even from afar you could see it because of the ominous obsidian frame floating in the air above the country. It hung over the beauty of the area like a literal dark cloud - but rain would be the least of their worries tonight.

In the midst of the commotion Sapnap had lost his best sword, the one that he'd had for months by now. They were definitely losing as well. Both Tommy and Tubbo had died multiple times during the fight. That combined with the endless supply of withers destroyed any notions that they might be able to win. Despite their imminent loss though, a sense of pride rushed through him. He'd managed to take a stand for himself and oppose his ex best friend. And he'd been the only one who was an actual challenge for Techno to fight. Sapnap had nearly killed him.

Now he stood on the menacing frame in the sky overlooking the carnage, occasionally firing arrows. Gone were the cute spruce houses and the town centre and in its place: stone and lava creeping out from cracks in the obsidian. Dream and Techno weren't lying when they said they wanted to make this place into a crater.

"I'm disappointed you know," a smooth voice rang out from behind him "you've ditched me for them - I thought we were best friends Sapnap."

Sapnap didn't need to turn around to recognise the voice. Even amongst the chaos and yelling of a battle he still knew that tone anywhere. Sickly sweet, the one he used whenever he wanted to manipulate and guilt-trip him.

"Our friendship has been dead a while, we both know that Dream," Sapnap said trying to feign confidence and not reveal that he was internally shaking like crazy.

"What are you talking about Sapnap?" Dream asked trying to get a reaction out of him "we're still best friends, I've just been a little busy lately."

Nearly. Sapnap nearly fell back into Dream's clutches after that. He stopped himself though.

"You never loved me Dream," he started, preparing to unleash all his pent up anger towards the masked man "you loved the idea of me - someone you could toy with, get them to do whatever you wanted, someone willing to go to the end of the world and back for you. You used me Dream but not anymore. I'm not letting myself be controlled by you."

"Sapnap, sapnap, sapnap..." Dream sighed mocking "you say that now but I just know you're going to turn up at my door in a few days time, begging for us to be friends again because you can't handle it. And I know this'll happen because you're a pathetic bitch who craves love and validation no matter where it comes from."

That hurt more than he thought it would. It wasn't completely a lie, Sapnap was willing to do a lot of things just to have someone care out him but Dream was wrong. There was no way in hell that he was going to turn up crying at Dream's door asking for them to be friends again. Their boat was cracked and rusting away at the bottom of the sea.

Sapnap didn't respond verbally, instead he just unsheathed his sword and pointed it at the blond.

"Oh you can't be serious Sapnap. Are you actually going to fight me? There's no way you win - I've always been better than you and I always will be."

"Shut your fucking mouth," Sapnap yelled "fight me right now and we'll see whose better."

The clashing of netherite blades was nearly drowned out by the constant explosions raining down on the wreckage of L'Manberg. Two previous best friends, partners in crime and Sapnap was finally taking a stand for himself. He struggled to maintain focus on the literally life-threatening fight he was currently engaged in because Dream's words were on loop in his head. Still after all these years. Everytime they fought as children he would make them practice for hours, even when Sapnap was battered and bruised.

Dream loved the ego boost of fighting him because no matter how hard he tried, Sapnap could never beat him. And he always reminded him of that. If Sapnap had fallen over due to the severity of his wounds, Dream would taunt him for being such a baby. He'd tell him that he was weak. That he needed Dream's help if he wanted to survive. It was so easy, Sapnap idolised Dream, of course he wanted to get his approval. Now they were back in that situation, nothing had changed - they were just a few years older.

Sweat trickled off Sapnap's forehead. The rain was pouring down relentlessly on the two opponents making not only the duel but the feat of moving so quickly in their heavy, enchanted armour all the more difficult. Fighting Dream was always strenuous, especially now when he desperately wanted to prove himself and show Dream that he fucked up when he messed with him. For a moment, the two stand panting, staring at each other as if waiting for the other to muster the strength to continue the battle. Then Dream lunges forward suddenly, aiming for Sapnap's legs in the hope of getting a sneaky hit in.

He succeeded. Sapnap was just a second too late with moving his shield down in defence allowing Dream to slice his lower leg where there was a break in his armour. Sapnap held back a cry of pain, refusing to give Dream any satisfaction. The repetitive, nearly rhythmic clings of weapons hitting against each other continued and the thuds of shields blocking potentially fatal strikes were like music to their ears.

Blow after blow. Sapnap was beginning to become sweatier and breathless. Dream shows no mercy, no loss of stamina, as if he truly was a god like Techno. People had always whispered about it before and Sapnap had never payed much attention to their claims but seeing him in action like this...it was definitelt possible. He was unstoppable and deep down Sapnap knew that he was fighting a losing battle.

"Oh Sapnap!" Dream cackled as they continued to fight on the extremely narrow frame "you know you'll never beat me right? Because you're nothing more than a weak crybaby."

He couldn't bring himself to retort back, despite how badly he wanted to scream. Sapnap wanted to prove so badly that Dream was wrong. Even if they weren't matched in skill, Sapnap could keep up with him better than most people. And what he lacked in ability he made up for in pure rage.

They danced around each other's blades, weaving around and dodging hits. To his surprise Sapnap landed a critical hit, his sword pierced a weak spot in Dream's chestplate. However Dream used this momentary victory where he was distracted to his advantage. In a split second Dream's axe was against his throat. Cold metal caused goosebumps to spread all over his body and his heart pounded louder than ever before. The sharp edge was pressed so firmly against his exposed flesh that Sapnap thought this was where he'd die. It was seconds away from slicing the delicate skin open.

"I'm not going to kill you Sapnap," Dream said as if he knew exactly what the younger boy was thinking about "you're far too fun to play with."

"You fucking psycho," Sapnap spat back.

"Oh don't be like that pandas..." Dream giggled "it was much fun to break you and because you were so naïve, you'd come running back to me for comfort after."

The axe was removed from his neck but Dream didn't put it away.

"Why are you so hellbent on ruining everything for everyone?" Sapnap roared "you fake a friendship with me - and then the one time I have genuine friends you blow up our country!"

Dream's tone was dangerously sweet "don't tell me you really still believe that Sapnap, they were never really your friends," and is if that didn't hurt enough, he cut deeper "Nobody ever was."

"They were my friends," Sapnap said but he sounded much more unsure.

"Then why did George come crawling back to me, even after I dethroned him."

"What?" Sapnap breathed in disbelief "George wouldn't do that."

"He came begging to me for help after Tommy burned down his house Sapnap, me not you." Dream taunted him.

He thought that George had cared about him, seen him as a best friend and source of comfort after Dream betrayed them both. Was it really all a lie?

"Not so confident anymore are you?" Dream yelled over the lightening that was now hitting the ground, resulting in even more havoc.

Dream's aggressive advances made him edge backwards slowly to try and evade his wild hits. Only that lead to him slipping on a particularly wet part of the frame and now he was only clinging on by hands. Sapnap whimpered as he glanced down, gulping at the height. There was no way he could make it without dying of fall damage. Dream wasn't going to help him either. This was where he died.

Jump. The voices chanted as he gazed down at the ruins beneath him. Nobody loves you or needs you so why bother. Even if he was masked, Sapnap just knew that Dream was wearing the biggest smirk underneath it. Finally cutting all ties with his pathetic soldier. He was shocked when Dream bent down and handed him a water bucket. "Get down safely."

That was it. Just those simple words. There had to be an ulterior motive though or some grand reason he was doing this. Sapnap knew how Dream operated all too well and it was extremely intimidating being on the other side of his antics. "Make sure you land it though - that's a pretty high fall Sapnap even for someone with your armour."

He wondered what the purpose of saying that was but it appeared that he didn't need to wait any longer to find out. A sickening crack was felt in his right hand which was clinging desperately to the edge of the obsidian frame. Dream had stepped on his hand with his netherite boots, completely crushing all the bones and ultimately causing Sapnap to loose his grip. "Oops.." he chuckled "guess I misstepped."

And he was falling. Rapidly down to where the last fighters stood. Quackity was nearby and pointed him out to Tommy and Tubbo who all covered their mouths in horror. It would all be fine if he didn't have a crushed hand and a rather bad cut spanning across his lower thigh. Normally he could land a water bucket no problem but it was probing to be quite the challenge in his situation. He ended up missing it slightly, feeling a crack in his ankle due to his awkward impact with the ground.

Still he got up, careful not to make any expressions that would imply he was in pain. He'd had the chance to take down Dream once and for all - and he'd failed miserably. Gosh maybe Dream was right. Sapnap really was pathetic. Since he brushed his landing off like everything was completely fine, the L'Manberg people ignored him after that, convinced that he was alright. Obviously they hadn't seen Dream literally kick him off the frame.

Sapnap limped away from the crater after Tommy and Tubbo ran off, presumably to their bench. He let them have their moment though. The only people left at the scene of destruction were Phil, Techno, Ranboo and he noticed Hbomb and Jack Manifold nearby too. There seemed to still be a fight going on but it wasn't something he needed to be involved in so he walked off, wincing at the searing pain in his leg. On his lower calf there was a large, open wound. Blood seeped out but despite how awful it looked, nobody noticed.

Sapnap was about to walk back to his house but something was stopping him. What was the point when there was nothing left for him here. He was truly alone now, maybe if he left, someone might come looking for him. Or maybe he'd join another world in the hopes of finally having a friend.

He found himself lugging his boat off the shore. No set destination in mind, just a desperate desire to leave behind all his pain. Sure it might be running away from his problems but right now it was the best move. Drowned rocked the boat from underneath as he sailed across the treacherous ocean, their tridents nearly breaking his weak armour. Ferocious and unrelenting waves battering against the spruce wood. The first bit of land he encountered was a snow biome, not ideal but it would do. If he could just find somewhere to survive the night then he could settle somewhere better in the morning.

Once he was close enough, Sapnap climbed out of the boat shakily but he slipped and landed on his bad ankle again. Another crack rang out and he grimaced. That couldn't mean anything good, no matter how much he was trying to pretend that everything was fine.

The icy numbness hit him instantly and chilled him to his core, left him shivering and shaking and feeling absolutely frozen. It weighed at his eyelids, dragged at his limbs, made him feel heavy and nothing more than a burden. If he wasn't so exposed , Sapnap would've considered just collapsing there for the night.

It was getting harder to make out his surroundings in the pitch black. He thought it would be easy to navigate through snow in the night because of how bright it was but he forgot that he would be able to see anything but an endless plain of white stretching around him, spanning to the horizon in every direction. His journey to find some sort of shelter where he could safely lie down seemed futile at this point.

The still open wound on his leg was causing problems as well. After his tumble out of the boat he'd made the cut worse and it was now gushing blood, staining the pure white a deep red. "At least I'll be able to find my way back to the boat..." Sapnap said to himself morbidly.  
He had to keep going.

But a few seconds later he stumbled as his foot caught on a buried root that wasn't visible because of the thick blanket of snow and he was sent tumbling to the ground. He let out a choked cry as his other ankle contracted in a way that definitely wasn't normal, fighting back the tears that welled in his eyes.

He couldn't cry. Dream's voice rang through his head again, taunting him for letting pain affect him like this. So Sapnap lay there, sprawled on the snowy floor, holding back tears and the thoughts that threatened to come crashing down.

To make everything worse, a few steps after he'd psyched himself up to continue just a little bit further to try find a safe spot to stay the night he heard a hissing sound. Instinctively he whipped around, going to grab his trusty sword until he realised that his sword was lost in the crater where L'Manberg used to be. The creeper continued towards him, speeding up at the prospect of prey.

His hands shakily went through his inventory, trying to find his bow because it was the only weapon he had left. But his sweaty palms and the lack of time left him defenceless. He tried to run away but he was injured and the monster only gained speed. Oh he was doomed. There was no way out of this. He'd fight, and he'd lose, and he'd die, alone. So why bother trying in the first place?

Another explosion behind him and the ground around Sapnap disappeared. He was trapped in a hole, smothered in snow. The only way somebody would realise there was a person buried beneath it would be if they saw the abnormal red colour in some places. There was a sharp pain in his side and Sapnap's heart pounded. It would be a miracle if he managed to survive the night with all these injuries.

The night chill permeated through his damaged armour - freezing him to the bone. Until eventually he was numb. He knew exactly what the swelling blisters on his fingers and hands were; he knew that he only felt numb because there was nothing to feel but the numbing gnaw of freezing. The last thing he saw before his heavy lids closed was the never-ending span of white snow.

Sapnap wasn't sure how long he'd passed out for in the snow but he heard hushed voices - seemingly somewhere else in the room. He knew he couldn't be outside anymore because of the faint crackles of a fire. So he was in somebody's home or he'd been kidnapped and was now in some weird tropical location. Either way he wasn't sure which was worse.

They sounded familiar but he couldn't quite place where he'd heard that voice before. Their tone was urgent though, Sapnap almost wanted to open his eyes and peak at how bad of a state he was in. He wasn't quite ready for the awkward confrontation though so he waited to see if he could hear anything else.

"Found him about an hour ago on my way back to the house - I wouldn't have noticed at all if there wasn't a trail of blood."

Sapnap almost wanted to laugh at that. His sense of humour was so fucked. But like at least his pain and suffering had some practical use. It saved his life. It seemed that his slight noise caught the unknown people's attention though because they rushed over to his side.

"Sapnap?" They asked hesitantly "can you hear us?"

They knew who he was? Sapnap was instantly racking his brain trying to remember where everyone on the server lived so he could figure out whose base he was at. Then it hit him. Technoblade was the only person he knew of that lived in a snow biome: but there were at least two people there - so the other would have to be Phil.

Even though it was a struggle to open his eyes, Sapnap acted like it was nothing. Phil let out a quiet sigh of relief once he saw that he was conscious again.

"Your temperature still isn't regular, we're trying to keep you warm." Techno's monotone voice broke the silence between the three.

Sapnap let out a small noise before Phil came closer, his eyes darting all over what he assumed were his various wounds. "What happened mate?" He asked softly.

"Dream sliced my leg and kind of kicked me off that frame you guys were releasing the tnt from," Sapnap mentioned casually "then I landed badly after that so I think one ankle is broken from that and the other from when I tripped over tree roots last night in the dark."

"And the chest wound?"

It took a moment for him to remember where exactly that came from "oh yeah..." he laughed quietly even though it physically pained him to do so "it turns out running from a creeper on two probably broken ankles isn't a good idea. Who would've thought!"

Techno shook his head, vaguely mumbling out him being a fucking idiot whereas Phil's eyes widened in shock. "If you don't mind me asking Sapnap...since most of these injuries are because of Dream - why did you run off and not get help."

Sapnap waved his wrist lazily "Dream was never my friend and George has been distant for so long. Who else would want to help me? Tommy..."

The other two winced slightly at the mention of the blond boy. Maybe it wasn't the best move bringing him up so soon. It was probably still a touchy subject.

"....has enough going on," Sapnap finished but he was much quieter than when he started.

Neither of the two men acknowledged his comment about their family member. Phil broke the silence once more "we stitched and bandaged your wounds while you were passed out. You're lucky you know - the frostbite wasn't that bad when I got to you but any longer and we might have had to amputate more."

His head flew up at that information. How had he not noticed that they literally chopped part of his body off. It was to save his life he knew but he almost would of preferred to just lose his second life. Techno seemed to have picked up on his confusion because he motioned to his hand. Sure enough, in place of his right hand there was a bandaged stump.

"W-what!" Sapnap freaked out "but that's the hand I use to fight with. Oh fuck what am I going to do."

"Well..." Phil began hesitantly "Techno could make you a prosthetic for the right price."

Sapnap gulped "what's the price...because I'm a little understocked right now."

"I don't want money," Techno interrupted him immediately "I heard from some of the others that you picked up the axe of peace during the fight."

"If I had the axe of peace I don't think I would be this badly injured Techno," Sapnap retorted and then it hit him "can one of you put my ender chest down beside me."

When he looked through his ender chest the memory came back to him. "Ok so turns out I might have found it in the fight and then forgotten about it."

It was a challenge for his weak hand to pass the heavy axe over to Techno who accepted it straight away. He couldn't tell how the pink haired man felt but he could've sworn he saw a hint of appreciation in his expression. Sapnap dismissed it though - he was probably just being delusional again.

"I suppose I could make a prosthetic hand," Techno finally offered after putting his axe away somewhere secure.

"Really!" Sapnap's eyes lit up.

If that worked out ok then maybe he could ask Techno to train him because surely it would take some getting used to with his new hand.

Sleep took over the young boy again though - rapidly and out of nowhere. Techno turned to Phil "we're not keeping him,"

"At least until he's able to walk again?" Phil bargained with his eldest son "we can't exactly through him out into the snow if he can't move."

"Fine..." Techno groaned "but don't get attached because as soon as he's walking again he has to leave."

Those words didn't prove to be true though. Sapnap recovered surprisingly fast for the injuries he'd amassed during the battle and his journey. At first Techno had tried to kick him out but Sapnap looked like a lost puppy. He'd pleaded with him to let him stay even just a couple more days. Cheekily using the whole frostbite thing against him. How could he possibly head back when his wounds weren't fully healed - he could get frostbite again and then they'd be stuck with him longer.

Techno had retorted, thoroughly unimpressed with "you know I could just leave you to die right? It was Phil who dragged you here not me."

"Oh Techno.." Sapnap sang playfully "are you really saying you don't enjoy my company - ouch I thought we were friends."

"Acquaintances," he told him firmly "and that's at a push."

Two weeks later though and Sapnap was fully healed and was in the process of constructing a log cabin on the other side of the hill. It was far away enough that Techno couldn't protest but it was a quick walk so the raven-haired boy turned up at their house often.

Eventually Sapnap worked up the nerve to ask Techno about helping him train with the prosthetic hand. He'd examined Sapnap for a minute before signing deeply and agreeing to help him.

The two fighters got into their stances, holding up wooden swords because Techno said he wasn't dealing with him being injured again. Sapnap teased him about that comment, asking if he'd come to care for him but Techno was as calm and emotionless as ever. The two's focus was entirely trained on the fight, both readying their swords for the first attack. They raised them, got within striking distance, brought them down and Techno knocked Sapnap's sword straight out of his hand.

Sapnap couldn't help but laugh "I guess this is going to take more getting used to than I thought."

If asked Techno would claim that he didn't care about Sapnap at all but they knew he didn't actually mean it. Somehow he'd managed to get Techno to warm up to him. Although it took a long time to gain his trust, Sapnap liked to think that he was on the way to being friends with the notorious blood god. He spent hours training with him, trying to get back up to the same level as before. It still felt strange using his prosthetic hand but there was definite improvement.

Techno hadn't given up on him and neither had Phil. Sure Sapnap wasn't perfect but he was trying and they both saw that. Over time they gained a new neighbour in the form of a quiet ender man hybrid. He wasn't certain if they were all best friends yet but it was a work in progress. He was trying. A hand reached down into the cold ocean and was pulling him back up to the surface - it was a sign he'd be alright. Maybe these friends could be forever.


End file.
